Relationship Design Workbook
A practical, downloadable guide to mapping your values, needs, desires, and non-negotiables. Use it solo for self-reflection, or work through it with a partner before or after opening up.
Download the WorkbookReal Talk About Sex, Polyamory & Non-Monogamy
Is non-monogamy right for you? Take The Quiz!Why Peer Polyamory & Sex Coaching?
Most mainstream relationship advice ignores non-monogamy entirely — and sex-positive, CNM-affirming therapists are still hard to find. Peer coaching from someone with genuine lived experience fills that gap. Whether you're curious about opening up, navigating jealousy, exploring kink within a poly structure, or just want to talk honestly about desire — this is a non-judgmental space where nothing is off the table.
Does any of this sound familiar?
- I'm curious about polyamory but have no idea where to start.
- I love my partners but jealousy keeps derailing everything.
- My partner and I want to open up, but the conversations keep turning into arguments.
- I want to explore kink but I'm not sure how it fits into my non-monogamous life.
- I feel alone — my friends and family just don't get the poly thing.
Just Exploring?
Still figuring out if polyamory or ethical non-monogamy is right for you? No pressure, no agenda. Together we'll map your desires, fears, and values so you can make a choice that actually feels like yours.
Already In It?
You're living it but something isn't working. Maybe it's jealousy, maybe it's communication, maybe it's a structure that's grown past its original design. Let's untangle it together.
Peer Polyamory & Sex Coach
Hi, I'm Charli Lue.
You found me — maybe through social media, a podcast recommendation, or a Google spiral at 2am. Welcome, whichever it was.
I've been polyamorous since 2015 and have been offering peer coaching since 2021. I practice Relationship Anarchy — an approach that questions the scripts we inherit about love, sex, and commitment, and invites us to design something more intentional instead. I work with people who are curious, confused, stuck, or simply want someone to talk to who actually gets it.
I'm also a sex coach, which means if intimacy, desire, pleasure, or kink are part of what you're navigating — that's absolutely on the table here. No topic is too niche or too embarrassing. I've heard it, I've probably lived it, and I'm not here to judge.
- No Judgment. Your relationships, desires, and questions are met with genuine curiosity — not advice you didn't ask for.
- Practical Tools. Real communication strategies, language for your feelings, and frameworks you can use immediately.
- Lived Experience. I'm not reading from a manual. I've navigated jealousy, metamour awkwardness, compersion highs, and poly burnout. I genuinely get it.
Let's talk honestly about love, sex, and everything in between.
Book a Free Discovery CallWhat Clients Are Saying
"Talking to Charli was the first time I felt like I didn't have to explain myself from scratch. She just got it — and that made all the difference."
"I came in thinking polyamory wasn't working for me. After a few sessions with Charli I realised the structure wasn't the problem — the communication was. She helped us completely reset."
"I was so ashamed of wanting more than monogamy. Charli made me feel like my desires were completely valid and gave me the tools to actually talk about them."
Resources & Ways to Connect
No Filter Podcast
Honest conversations about sex, love, and non-monogamy. Real people, no scripts. Solo episodes, guest interviews, listener Q&As, and zero shame. New episodes every two weeks.
Listen to No FilterMonthly Support Circle
A small-group online space for people navigating non-monogamy. Open Q&A, skill-building, and real community. No fixed agenda — just honest conversation with others who get it. New cohorts open monthly.
Join the CircleFrom the Blog
Understanding Jealousy in Polyamory: What It Is and How to Work With It
Jealousy is one of the most common reasons people reach out to me. It doesn't mean polyamory isn't right for you — it means you're human. Here's how to start working with it instead of against it.
Read More →What Is Compersion — And Can You Actually Learn It?
Often called "the opposite of jealousy," compersion is the joy you feel when a partner experiences happiness with someone else. It sounds lovely. But is it learnable? The answer might surprise you.
Read More →Relationship Anarchy: A Beginner's Guide to Choosing Your Own Rules
Relationship Anarchy isn't chaos — it's intention. It's the practice of designing every relationship from scratch, without assuming what it should look like based on its label.
Read More →Peer support and sex coaching can raise questions. Here are answers to the most common ones — about how sessions work, what makes this different from therapy, and who this is for.
Coaching FAQ
Therapy is delivered by licensed clinicians and focuses on mental health, diagnosis, and healing past trauma. Peer support is different — it's offered by someone with lived experience, focused on the present and practical: tools, language, frameworks, and honest conversation.
My work is not therapy and I'm not a therapist. It can complement therapy brilliantly, but it's not a substitute. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, I'll always encourage you to seek that out too.
Not at all. I work with people at every stage: complete beginners who are just curious, people mid-transition who are overwhelmed, and those in established non-monogamous structures who want to refine things. If you're questioning whether ENM is right for you, that's just as valid a reason to reach out.
It means that sex, desire, intimacy, and kink are topics I'm completely comfortable exploring with you — without judgment, awkwardness, or having to sanitise what you're actually experiencing. Sessions are fully talk-based. I don't provide any physical or sexual services.
It genuinely depends. Some people come for one session to get clarity on a specific situation. Others work with me regularly over several months as their relationships evolve. We'll talk about what you need in your discovery call and build from there — no pressure, no packages you didn't ask for.
It's a relaxed 20-minute video call — no intake forms, no pressure. We'll talk about what's going on for you, I'll explain how I work, and we'll figure out together whether working together makes sense. You can book one below.
Book a Free Discovery CallNon-monogamy, polyamory, kink, compersion, relationship anarchy — there's a lot of language and a lot of questions. Here are clear answers to the ones that come up most.
Non-Monogamy FAQ
Ethical non-monogamy (ENM) is an umbrella term for any relationship structure that involves more than two people, practised with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved. It includes polyamory, open relationships, relationship anarchy, swinging, and more. The "ethical" part means honesty, communication, and respect — not a set of rules everyone has to follow identically.
Polyamory typically involves multiple romantic and/or emotional connections. Open relationships are often couple-centred — a primary partnership that allows connections outside it. Relationship Anarchy rejects relationship hierarchies altogether, treating each connection on its own terms without pre-assigned labels like "partner" or "friend." There's significant overlap, and many people move between frameworks over time.
No — though sex can be part of it, just as it can be part of any relationship. Polyamory is primarily about having the capacity for multiple loving, emotionally meaningful connections. Some polyamorous relationships are sexual; some aren't. Some people have very active sex lives; others are aromantic or asexual and still find polyamory resonates with how they connect.
With a lot of communication, self-awareness, and practice. Jealousy doesn't go away just because you've chosen non-monogamy — but it can become a signal worth listening to rather than a fire to put out. Exploring what the jealousy is telling you (unmet needs? fear of loss? comparison?) is usually far more useful than trying to suppress it.
Compersion is often described as the joy or warmth you feel when a partner experiences happiness with someone else. It's sometimes called the "opposite of jealousy" — though it can coexist with jealousy. Not everyone feels it automatically, and that's completely normal. It often develops over time, with trust and self-security.
Absolutely. There's significant overlap between kink and non-monogamy communities, though they're not the same thing and neither requires the other. Many people navigate both, and the communication skills, consent practices, and negotiation tools transfer really well between contexts. If you want to explore how kink fits into your non-monogamous life, that's something we can work through together.
Honestly? You often can't know for certain before trying — and that's okay. What you can do is get clear on your values, your fears, your needs, and what you're hoping non-monogamy would give you. Sometimes those answers point toward polyamory; sometimes they point toward a better-designed monogamous relationship; sometimes they point toward something you haven't named yet. That's exactly what coaching can help you explore.